Sliding Doors – Cheer-up Date

Sliding Doors/Cheer-up Date

– Bollocks to him. Bollocks to him. Bollocks to him. Bollocks to him. Bollocks to him.

– Come on. If you don’t drink your fatty drinks, you’ll never really achieve quality cellulite. Your haircut suits you, by the way. No, it does. It does. No gag. Never make a joke about women’s hair, clothes, or menstrual cycles. Page one.

– Look, James, maybe I shouldn’t be here. I’m sorry. I’m not being fair. You know, under normal circumstances etcetera, you’re really nice and funny. My friend Anna thinks you’re cute.

– Wait, hold, hold. Your friend Anna thinks I’m cute? Your friend Anna thinks I’m cute? Shit, I just blew… Wait. Oh,  .2.85 on the wrong girl. Helen, listen. Sometimes we are plonked into people’s lives when they just need to be cheered up and reassured and it turns out that for some reason it’s your job. We don’t know why. In your case, it’s my job. But, I’ll be honest, the fact that I find you moderately attractive, just makes the job easier on my part. My intentions are completely honourable. I have no desire to overstep the mark. Seriously. You prefer diamonds or sapphires? Sorry.

– “Moderately attractive”?

– A-ha! I knew you were listening. Well, you know, lose the sad eyes, the droopy mouth, I could get you an upgrade. So, having firmly established the ground rules, what are you doing two weeks on Saturday?

– Probably killing myself.

– Excellent. What time does that finish? Do you like boats?